I'm officially IFS-trained!

Good news!

I am officially IFS trained! I just completed the level one training in Internal Family Systems model!

I have worked hard for over a year, deepening my clinical work and my personal work within this model, and I am so excited to continue to show up for myself and my clients to share the abundant healing that is possible with IFS.

Internal Family Systems is a therapy modality pioneered by Dick Schwartz, that works with parts of your internal system that make up the whole of who you are, kind of like working with different family members in family therapy. I have seen so many personal transformations using this modality, I have seen people finally access their authentic self energy, have compassion for all parts of themselves including their shadow, improve their relationships and reactiveness with coworkers, reach a state of calm and creativity that was dormant. I truly love doing this work and sharing it with my clients!

For more info : IFS Institute

How are you taking care of yourself?

Hello Cancer season!!

The past few weeks I’ve been reflecting on how my body has been feeling as I’m entering into more spaces, engaging more, and being with others in person and I’ve noticed that I feel that edge of depletion quicker than I used to. Annoyance, irritability, victimization, anger. And i have to retreat, close off, be alone. But what I realized is that it’s not about anyone else, it’s not about taking on other people’s stuff, it’s not about grounding and clearing or disconnecting. It’s about me. It’s about connecting to myself, connecting to my gold (life force energy, qi, source, God, higher self whateveryoucallit) and taking good care of myself. I know i’m taking good care of myself when i can show up authentically with energy and joy for other people. i know i’m taking good care of myself when i feel energized by my work. i know i’m taking good care of myself when my inner child parts feel heard and soothed. i know i’m taking good care of myself when i feel less reactive. i know i’m taking good care of myself when i’m calibrating to source and not calibrating to what another person’s response to me is.

Dismantling systemic oppression

You don’t have to keep reading the news to know that there are still HUGE systemic problems within the US, still malicious harm done by policing of Black and Brown bodies, and it still feels like no one is listening. There is still so much work to be done, so much that privileged white bodies need to know and understand and protest and change. We need accountability, we need a different system, we need more resources, we need everyone to feel/be/exist safely here or else no one is.

❤️

on looking for connections 👀

The past year in quarantine has been challenging in more ways than one, for so many of us, there is a real sense of loss of community both physically and energetically. We have been forced into isolation for protection, and now more than ever people are feeling the effects of the loss of belonging.

For those who are un-partnered and trying to navigate the dating world in COVID times it can be difficult! All the frustration of dating apps during pre-pandemic times is still here! The confusing, mixed messages, the ghosting, the awkwardness of meeting up in person and navigating safety protocols while also trying to see someones facial expressions (and if we have to do one more zoom call my head will explode! 🤯).

It can feel pretty much hopeless to meet people out in the world (witty banter in the grocery store queue doesn’t exactly land when you’re 6 feet apart wearing masks and trying to be as quick as possible), especially with social spaces restricted.

What if you started the day being open to being surprised by life?

Sometimes the analyzer part likes to write our entire day out before it’s even happened. It likes to guess exactly how and when everything will go for you, probably as a way to keep you safe. To protect you from what could go wrong.

Thank that part of you for showing up, and let it take a break.

Be present with yourself. Be curious, and open to connection in any form.

Fulfilling connections are available when you are open to them.

FREE WORKSHOP: Embracing your Inner Empress

I am hosting a FREE workshop for Gather for Women on embracing your inner Empress.

Find the event page here https://www.eventbrite.com/e/embodying-pleasure-with-the-empress-card-tickets-141870517537

The Empress is the third card in the Major Arcana, she is the great mother, the Divine Feminine. The Empress is associated with Venus, the element of Earth, Taurus, Aphrodite, rose quartz, nurturing, fertility, sexual and sensual power, creativity and abundance. Empress leads with love; love for Self, others, plants, animals...she is grounded in pleasure from earthly delights that fill up her cup! The Empress knows that pleasure is powerful magic, like listening to Beyoncé while painting and eating a juicy satsuma on a sunny day.

Perhaps this Empress pleasure energy has been on the back burner during the pandemic, or it's doesn't feel like you have time for it, the Empress asks where do you need to care for yourself? Let's ground into our inner Empress by meditating on this card, clarify what pleasure can look like and how to embody it, create art, and celebrate love and abundance! 

We will:

• learn about what the Empress archetype is all about

• talk about how to work with this energy in your life

• connect to our inner Empress

• make some art!

new year manifestations + practices

happy new year!!

we made it ya’ll. if you are reading this you made it, you are alive and that is a blessing and a miracle after the year that was 2020. i’m proud of you!

SO what does your heart envision for 2021? what do you want more of? what do you want less of? what will be your true north for the year?

what practices did you start in 2020 that you’d like to carry into 2021?

*gentle disclaimer* let me be clear that just because the Gregorian calendar turns, doesn’t necessary make anything “different”, it doesn’t erase anything or just magically make systemic oppression/pandemic/violence/exploitation/binary thinking and all the isms go away! to me the turn of the year is a time a simply take inventory, to reflect, and get clear about how to do the work and move forward with aligned actions.

some of my practices that I like are to have one word for the year that anchors my intentions and aligned actions. i also like to create goals or intentions in a few different categories like spiritual growth, career, relationships, health and revisit them seasonally to check in with myself. this year my word is FAITH, i have faith in myself that i can provide for myself, i am on the right path, and that the universe will have my back. the word of the year will be an anchor or guidepost along this year, something that i want to embody as fully as i can in order to really integrate this into my cells.

the tarot card that corresponds to faith for me is the Star card, which also happens to be my card of the year- when i add up my birthday + 2021. The Star card is a beautiful archetype of hope, faith, and trust in oneself and the world around them. It appears after the destruction of the Tower as a rejuvenation of rebirth.

What would you like to embody this year?

What are your hopes for yourself and the collective?

winter solstice + the great conjunction

Yule greetings my sweet ones! Happy winter solstice! This is the time in which we welcome the rebirth of the sun, and the days become longer. Some honor the winter solstice as the beginning of a the new solar year, setting intentions and looking forward to the next year ahead. I am not an astrologer, just a celestial traveller! There are a lot of beautiful astrological teacher out there to guide you, I like Chani Nicholas. She has some helpful courses with meditations, readings and alter suggestions.

This beautiful time is especially potent this year because of the great conjunction between Saturn and Jupiter, meaning these two huge planets are in the same place and moving into a new sign (element of Air) for the first time in like 200 years! These two planets conjunct about every 20 years, and if your Saturn is in Capricorn you are moving out of your Saturn return!

This a very potent time to formulate and set intentions for the next 12 months, and to let go of what you’d like to leave in 2020.

What or who is not serving you anymore?

One of my favorite rituals at this time is to spend some time reflecting on the year, get our your journal, and write about some of the peak experiences from the year. What were some big brags? What were some behaviors, relationships, or beliefs that you would like to let go of? Build a fire, (or create a fire-safe bowl or vessel) and place whatever you’d like to let go of into the fire. Meditate on those aspects being transmuted into something greater for you and the collective.

Happy New Year!

ARE YOU EXPOSING YOUR NEED FOR COMPANIONSHIP?

Courage is the hearts blossom.

Let’s face it- dating in 2020 has had it’s challenges. It’s different than it was in 2019 (a global pandemic has put a few obstacles in the way of finding true love) but online dating is still thriving. Online dating has changed the dating landscape, which is a separate thesis that i will write later! It has changed the way folks are communicating with each other about dating. “Dating” could even be outdated language, often subbed out for the nonchalance of the non-threatening “hang”. There is such a spectrum of what people are looking for in the dating field that can feel liberating and inclusive, while the platform can also feel disposable, frustrating, shallow and confusing all at once.

I often see women who desire a partnership trying to hide the fact that they want a partnership (or have feelings) from the people they are intending to date. They want to be the “cool girl”. They want to appear chill and non-possessive. They want to seem like they’re really going with the flow, and are so low maintenance that they don’t have any needs. At all. Because not having needs is the path to being loveable right?! (Helloo failed gender socialization promises!)

They are afraid of scaring someone away if they have needs, and saying that they want a partnership is a form of stating a need. They are afraid to appear “too needy”, like the crazy girl who wants a relationship. So they ignore what they really want, and try their best to appear independent, and as if nothing bothers them. Ignoring what they actually want, denying themselves of having needs, and self-abandoning in order to be what they think others will want can lead to pain, frustration, and ultimately resentment towards others.

It takes courage to be honest with yourself about what you want and need. It takes a lot of courage to express what you want and need to others, stating a need can be scary because there is a change that the need may not be met. It’s all a practice, if you are stating a need and showing up for yourself, it could lead you closer to what you actually desire.

We can help you get there, and co-create the life that you truly want without abandoning yourself!

What should I do with my election anxiety?!

It’s that time of year when seasonal depression starts to creep in, intersecting with COVID anxiety and depression, and on top of everything immense anxiety coming up around the election in the US. No one is immune to the collective anxiety over the monumental shifts that have happened in the US (and the world) in 2020; veils being lifted, systems being questioned, denounced or torn down. The metaphorical and literal fires have been lit and continue to burn. You might be feeling overwhelming hopelessness, pessimism, fear, and anxiety. Hope in our country and systems to support, uplift and protect everyone especially BIPOC folks is albeit nonexistent right now. What can you control when it feels like everything is out of control?! You still have yourself, and what you can do within your community.

How are you taking care of yourself through this election and beyond?

1. Set up your action plan for election day and the days that follow. How are you voting and how can you vote safely?

2. Take breaks from news or social media if it’s impacting you. Don’t DOOM SCROLL! Watching an episode of The Bachelorette might be less dramatic than watching election results, do what you need to do to feel sane- distractions welcomed.

3. Check in with friends and family, facetime someone you love and have a laugh or a cry.

4. Notice your breathe. Take 5 counts in breathe, and 5 counts out breathe. What do you see, what do you hear, what do you smell around you right now? Be mindful of what you’re giving your energy to.

5. Notice your body. What sensations are you noticing in your body, what is your body needing from you today?

6. Go to the park, the beach, or spend time in any body of water. Take a salty bath with fresh roses you buy yourself, and drink plenty of water.

7. Make something! Use your creativity. Make a delicious meal, watercolor, knit, start that quilt project you’ve been putting off, make a sock puppet burlesque show for your roommates.

8. Pet a dog or hug a human, staying in contact with life is important for our survival!

9. Journal! Let your catharsis flow on the page.

10. Read some poetry. Audre Lorde all day.

MORNING ROUTINES

It’s taken me a few months in quarantine to get into a routine, as so many of you can probably relate, since everyday feels similar yet also completely different. finding a practice that works for you and your life can be difficult, as well as actually sticking to it everyday. I get it, it’s hard to show up right now. It’s hard to get out of bed, it’s hard to read the news, it’s hard to see and feel so much pain and injustice in the world and feel completely helpless in fixing it. Despite all the shit, showing up for yourself is a radical act. When you’ve got your own back, you can make space to show up for others with more compassion, more energy, more love.

What’s been helpful for me, is to set a timer for 20 minutes first thing in the morning and I mediate, do some energy breath work, pull a tarot card for the day, and do “morning pages” (from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way). I ask my higher self what energy am i calling in for the day and how can I be of service to myself and others today? Then I make some coffee and a nettle infusion and get out my agenda to see what I need to accomplish for the day, making sure I schedule in many breaks and lots of water.

Be gentle with your sweet selves.

LEADING WITH MY HEART

My chiropractor recently told me to lead with my heart. I’ve been moving through some physical pains that have been exasperated from activities and injuries as well as spending the last few months trying to get comfortable in a work-from-home space that is not exactly ergonomic. I have been dragging my feet about setting up my space. There is a part of me that believes this is “temporary”, and this part doesn’t want me to settle into or accept the virtual world as the new way of doing things. I’ve acknowledged this part, listened to its concerns and showed it loads of compassion. There’s another part that showed up and said girl you deserve to have nice things!! You don’t have to be uncomfortable, you don’t have to suffer, you don’t have to be scrappy. What you can do is show up for yourself, sit in a comfortable seat, create a sacred space for your work where you are RIGHT NOW. Don’t wait for something else to happen, or for someone else to tell you it’s going to be ok. Just do the loving thing for yourself right now, and that will help you show up-leading from your heart- with others.

COVID TIPS

Are you struggling with your teens in quarantine?

Some suggestions during this time:

• Have some sort of a routine and stick to it. Hold a structure but allow for freedom - don’t push too hard.

• Make space for talking about grief and disappointment over losses -- and validate those feelings.

• Engage in deep listening

• Stay connected with family members, classmates, friends, community 
  to feel less isolated.

• Be sure to keep moving! Stay active, go for a walk! Try a family puzzle, game, dance from Tik Tok, an art project, or a cooking experience.

• Find some space to have alone time each day. (5 minutes to yourself in the day to reset - especially in times of overwhelm or anxiety.)

• Make space for silliness and play to shift intense emotions (and show a willingness to try something new).

• Try to stay in a positive mindset as much as possible to normalize the stress level.

• Try doing an acitivty together, something that they would like to do together, show interest in their interest, and take the pressure off forced conversation .

  • Focus on the activity, instead of the pressure to talk.

• Notice suspected substance issues or depression, and consider working with a therapist if needed, as it can allow people to develop the ability to express emotions to someone outside of their home.